No, I Don't Even Lift, Bro Tee

Dark Grey / XS / Modern Fit

$30.00

More Product Details

"Do you even lift, bro?"

It's the question. The classic. The one that's been asked in gyms, on the internet, and in the general direction of anyone who dares exist in a fitness space without immediately proving their credentials. And for a long time, the expected answer was something defensive, or impressive, or at least vaguely athletic.

Not anymore.

"No, I Don't Even Lift, Bro" is the full, unapologetic, deadpan shutdown of the whole conversation. It's worn by the guy who showed up (which is more than a lot of people did today) and isn't particularly interested in justifying that to anyone. Maybe he lifts a little. Maybe he's mostly cardio right now. Maybe he's somewhere in that complicated early phase where everything is still kind of being figured out. Doesn't matter. None of that is anyone's business, and this shirt communicates that clearly, calmly, and with maximum snark.

You don't owe anyone a flex. But you can absolutely wear this while you work on one.

The definitive answer to the question nobody needed to ask
Men's relaxed fit for the guy who's here on his own terms, doing his own thing
Soft, breathable fabric, because even the anti-lift crowd deserves a good shirt
Snarky, bro-coded, and completely self-aware: for the man who's in on the joke
Great gift for any guy whose gym motivation is entirely unrelated to anyone else's opinion

We offer our tees in two fits. Choose the Modern Fit for a shirt that fits a bit closer to the body - sleek without being at all clingy. Our Relaxed Fit is printed on Comfort Colors shirts, offering you a boxier, roomier cut for a little extra breathing room.

Both styles are a unisex fit. If you want some extra room, consider ordering up a size.

MODERN FIT

Size	Width	Length
XS	16.5	27
S	18	28
M	20	29
L	22	30
XL	24	31
2XL	26	32
3XL	28	33
4XL	30	34
5XL	32	35

RELAXED FIT

Size	Width	Length
S	18.25"	26.5"
M	20.25"	29"
L	22"	29.5"
XL	24	30.75"
2XL	26"	31.5"
3XL	27.5"	32.5"
4XL	29"	33.5"

Fabric

Solid colors are 100% cotton. Heather colors are a 50/50 cotton/poly blend.

Care

Solid colors are 100% cotton. Heather colors are a 50/50 cotton/poly blend.

Consider washing your tee separately the first time, particularly if you chose the Relaxed Fit style. Our shirts are saturated in dye to make them last as long as possible, and while they are pre-washed to avoid shrinkage, there is a chance they might bleed in the wash initially.

Inside the shirt out before washing, then wash cold and tumble dry low. Do not iron - use a steamer instead if necessary.

Shipping

All of our products are made-to-order, and will ship within 3 business days of purchase. Shipping times vary based on the shipping option selected by the customer at time of purchase. Standard Free Shipping (USA only) is via USPS, and typically delivers within 3-5 business days.